Sadly, some people are so entrenched in seeing the negative side of
things that they leave zero room for positive things to grow. People
like this inhabit our families, work environments and social circles.
It can be emotionally draining just being around them, and you must be
careful because their negative attitudes and opinions are venomous and
contagious. Negativity perpetuates itself, breeds dissatisfaction and
clutters the mind. And when the mind is cluttered with negativity,
happiness is hard to come by.
Ignore these people and move on from them when you must. Seriously, be
strong and know when enough is enough! Letting go of negative people
doesn’t mean you hate them, or that you wish them harm; it just means
you care about your own well-being. Because every time you subtract
negative from your life, you make room for more positive.
You can’t live a positive life around negative people.
Here are seven such people you might need to put on your ignore list:
1. The hopelessly hostile drama queen.
Some people love to stir up controversy and drama for no apparent
reason. Don’t buy in to their propaganda. Stay out of other people’s
drama and don’t needlessly create your own.
Don’t spew hostile words at someone who spews them at you. Keep your
composure and replace the stink of confrontation with the fragrance of
resolution. The louder the opposition wants to yell, and the more drama
they want to stir, the calmer and more confidently you need to think
and speak. Don’t let them get to you.
Be an example of a pure existence; ignore their outlandish antics and
focus onkindness. Communicate and express yourself from a place of
peace, from a place of love, with the best intentions. Use your voice
for good – to inspire, to encourage, to educate, and to spread the
notions of compassion and understanding.
When someone insists on foisting their hostility and drama on you, ignore them and walk away.
2. The person you have failed to please a hundred times before.
Some people are impossible to please; you will not be able to break
through to them no matter what you do. Accept this harsh as a fact of
life.
Throughout your lifetime some people will discredit you, disrespect you
and treat you poorly for no apparent reason at all. Don’t consume
yourself with trying to change them or win their approval. And don’t
make any space in your heart to hate them. Simply walk away and let
karma deal with the things they do, because any bit of time you spend on
them will be wasted, and any bit of hate and aggravation in your heart
will only hurt you.
3. The naysayer who always dumps on your dreams.
Stop giving credit to those who discredit your dreams. These people are
punishing your potential by slowly extinguishing your inner flame with
their watered down vision of what you are capable of achieving.
If you give in and let their negativity convince you of who you are,
their madness will wither you away. You will morph into who they say
you are, rather than living honestly as yourself. In this way, these
people will steal your life from you. You will lose track of where
their opinion ends and your reality begins. Their fiction will become
your life’s story.
What you’re capable of is not a function of what others think is
possible for you. So look beyond their presumptions and mental
limitations, and connect with your own best vision of what YOU are
capable of and how YOUR life can be. Life, after all, is an open-ended
journey, and 99% what you achieve comes directly from what you work to
achieve on a daily basis.
4. The manipulator.
Beware of manipulators, or bullies, who try to use their negativity to
intimidate and manipulate your thoughts. If you observe them from a
distance, you will realize that these people are often overly
self-referential. In other words, the people around them (YOU) fit into
their plan simply based on how they can be used or manipulated for
their own personal gain.
These people routinely prioritize their own feelings and needs over and
above everyone else’s. They will demand that you bend over to help
them, but if, heaven forbid, you need help, they will not be able to
stand it.
Bottom line: Some people will say and do anything, thoughtlessly, to
get others to do what they want them to do. Do not accept this behavior
as normal. When someone tries to bully you, stand up for yourself and
say, “Not so fast, buddy! Your delusion of superiority is your problem,
not mine.” And if they refuse to reason with you, walk away without a
fight.
5. The stubborn one who insists you should be someone else.
In the long run, it’s always better to be disrespected for who you are
than respected for who you are not. In fact, the only relationships
that work well are the ones that make you a better person without
changing you into someone other than yourself, and without preventing
you from outgrowing the person you used to be.
Unfortunately, families and old friends often fail to recognize how
you’ve changed and grown over the years. They also tend to label you in
an unfair way based on who you used to be; and it’s easy to end up
conforming to these labels because you remember when they were true.
For example, “Oh, Marc always has his head in the clouds,” or “Angel
never could focus on anything for very long.”
What’s important to remember is that you’re the only person in the world
who knows what’s happening inside your head right now. People who
don’t know you well may assume you’re someone else entirely. And people
who think they know you well may have pigeonholed you – but you know
there’s more to you than what they see.
When you ignore their opinions and decide to be who you are, instead of
who they want you to be, you open yourself up to real love, real
happiness, and real success. There is no need to put on a mask. There
is no need to pretend to be someone you’re not.
You don’t have control over what others think about you, but you do have
control over how you decide to internalize their opinions. Leave them
to their own judgments. Don’t feel threatened and don’t conform just to
please them. Let people love you for who you are, and not for who they
want you to be. Or let them walk away if they choose. They can’t harm
you either way; it’s their understanding that is faulty, not yours.
6. The unforgiving friend who refuses to forgive you for your mistakes.
The most honorable thing is not to never make mistakes, but to admit to
them when you do make them, and then to follow through and do your best
to make the wrong things right.
Mistakes are part of growing. They are a natural part of every worthwhile endeavor.
If someone refuses to support you as you grow beyond your past mistakes,
they are now the one that’s making a mistake. Holding on to the
unchangeable past is a waste of energy and serves no purpose in creating
a better day today. If someone continuously judges you by your past,
holds it against you, and refuses to forgive you, you might have to
repair your present and future by leaving them behind.
7. The inner critic.
Boom! Wake-up call! Yes, sadly, the inner critic is inside YOU.
Unrelenting self-criticism often goes hand in hand with unhappiness and
anxiety, and it’s completely unjustified. There is no reason to be your
own biggest critic – to harp on yourself for your shortcomings. All
you really need is the courage to be yourself. Your real value is
rooted in who you are, not who you aren’t.
The flaws you often see in yourself are only the qualities of your own
individuality. There is something unique and special about you. You
are different. You will never be as good as someone else, and they will
never be as good as you. Just as no two snowflakes are alike, your
fingerprints are different from every other being on Earth. You are
meant to be different. You are here to express who you are and enjoy
what you have at this very moment. When you accept this, there is no
reason to compare yourself to someone or something you aren’t. There is
nothing for the inner critic to complain about.
Every morning when you wake up, think of three things that are going
well in YOUR life at the moment. As you fall asleep every night, fill
your mind with an appreciation for all the small things that went well
during the day. Examine the goodness that is YOUR life, and let your
inner critic overhear the five-star reviews about YOU.
Afterthoughts
When people undermine your dreams, predict your doom, criticize you, and
generally resist the truth about who you are, remember, they’re telling
you their own sad story, not yours. They’re dumping their own doubts
into the air. Ignore them.
If the person doing this is you (your inner critic), try giving up all
the thoughts and contemplations that make you feel bad, or even just
some of them, for the rest of the day. See how doing that changes your
life. You don’t need these negative thoughts. All they have ever given
you is a false self that suffers for no reason.
Your turn…
What kind of negativity do you struggle to defend yourself against? How
do you cope? Please leave a comment below and share your insights with
us.
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