Dreamy singles think it will make them happy, restless men and women
think it will make them feel complete. We take apart the five most
popular cons that mar marriage.
1. I won’t be lonely
Being lonely or having
company has nothing to do with getting married. Many loners
remain so
even after marriage. A long-suffering woman shared her woes, she said
that though she was married, she was always lonely. “I never felt that
we shared anything. When I spoke, he heard but never listened. On
holidays, I never felt that we were together.” Those who are lonely and
feel that marriage will be a solution, need to analyse and identify what
they are feeling.
2. Anytime sex
Sexual desire and frequency is
dependent on libido, compatibility and the acceptance of the word ‘sex’
among both partners. Many partners, who have a deep-seated resentment
for each other and are constantly bickering, are not having enough sex.
Maybe one of them thought that marriage would satisfy their sexual
desires, but that didn’t happen, and so, the blame-game continues in
other spheres of life.
3. I won’t work
This is quite an unrealistic
thought, as increasingly, more couples realise that marriage does not
mean financial security. Especially women realize that the lifestyle and
aspirations one has calls for both spouses to generate income.
Financial security is rare if you are not taking care of it yourself;
there is no escape route. And if you have not discussed this with your
partner, he or she may feel resentful of being considered a meal ticket.
4. Big happy family
Most of us are conditioned
to win over the love and affection of the in-laws. We bend over
backwards, expect to be loved immediately and are baffled when the
feeling is not reciprocated. The biological imperative of birthing gives
rise to a lot of unconditional love and acceptance which is hormonally
absent in in-laws. So it is advised to give respect, love and attention,
but don’t expect much.
5. Kids can fix it all
Couples feel that
unhappiness in a marriage will be sorted by parenthood. This is another
misconception because if there is incompatibility, a child would
actually come into an unwelcoming environment and may even be resented.
Parenthood should be a well-thought out decision considering aspects
such as – Are we ready? Do both of us want children? Do we have all the
help we need? Do we agree on core values?
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