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you’re like most of us, no matter what relationship you are in, you’re
likely to think at one time or another that you’re with the one. As much
as we’d like to follow our hearts however, finding the one is more than
just a matter of strong attraction. It’s important to make sure your
heart and your head agree if you are spending the rest of your life with
someone, so it’s vital to sort out the qualities that make someone
worth spending your life with. Overall, the biggest indicator is when
someone is truly selfless, invested, and interested in who you are and
what you want. The following points will help you make that distinction,
and are qualities anyone should value when looking for the one.
Attention Vs Care
One big difference between someone you like and someone you should
stay with is paying attention to you, versus caring about you. Any
healthy romantic relationship means that the other person should pay
attention to your desires, likes, and day-to-day schedule. However, when
somebody really cares, there’s a difference. Someone who listens to
your favorite songs just to get to know you better, for example, is
somebody who cares about you and isn’t just paying attention for the
short term benefits.
All Talk Vs All Action
It’s easy to have feelings for people who are smooth talkers. It
seems that they know just how to appeal to your insecurities and hopes.
However, when you’re with the one who is really interested in you,
you’ll find that actions speak louder than words. Especially when you
have disagreements and ask your other half to change the way they treat
you; words promising to make changes are nowhere near as important as
active steps. When you find someone who is willing to put in the effort
and make real decisions for your best interest, keep them.
Hearing Vs Listening
Another difference between a significant other and a significant
other who could be the one, is how they listen to you. If your
significant other appears to listen to you, but rarely understands what
you’re saying or makes changes, they may just be hearing you instead of
listening to you.
Interest Vs Investment
Another way to recognize the one is how interested they are in you.
Anyone you date is likely to show some amount of interest in your
passions and career, however the one will be truly invested in
everything from your relationships, to how your day goes. You should
always seek out people who are truly invested in you, and want to see
you be your happiest. If you’re going to be with someone long term, it
is crucial that they are not only interested in you, but invested in
you.
Concerned Vs Involved
Another way to measure whether you are with the one, is to consider
how involved they are in your life. Someone who sees themselves with you
for a long period of time will not just concern themselves with your
life and family, but will look for new ways to be truly involved. When
your significant other moves from learning the names of your relatives
to cracking jokes with and looking forward to seeing them, you know you
have someone special.
Thinking For You Vs Thinking Of You
Another way to sort out whether your relationship is the right one,
is to consider whether they think of you or for you. An involved,
concerned significant other will offer you advice, give you feedback,
and be honest about their opinions. However, a love interest who offers
cutting criticisms, and makes you feel less confident is a sign that
they are thinking for you and not about what’s best for you. Always try
to find those who are honest about what they think, without manipulating
you or shaming you into doing what they want. When you’re with the one,
it should always be obvious that they want what’s best for you, not
what’s best for them.
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